2019 Happiness Project—June

In addition to and as part of my 19 for 2019, I’ve decided to tackle a Happiness Project. I first read Gretchen Rubin’s book in 2014 and became enamored of the idea. However, my desire to do things perfectly kept getting in the way. I felt like I needed to have lists and charts and plans. While all of those things are helpful, sometimes it’s better to just get started.

And so, with only a vague notion of what I’m going to do, I decided that 2019 is the year of my Happiness Project. I’m going to have the same monthly focuses Gretchen had in her book, but will modify the individual tasks to fit what’s needed in my life.

June: Make Time for Friends

Gretchen’s tasks for June were:

• Remember birthdays
• Be generous
• Show up
• Don’t gossip
• Make three new friends

Last month I tried to follow Gretchen’s individual tasks closely, but they didn’t translate well. While the month wasn’t a flop by any stretch, I didn’t feel super connected to it.

In this case, I’m completely forgoing her last two ideas. I’m not too much of a gossip and I only talk to a handful of people regularly, so I don’t think there’s too much to achieve here. And while it’s nice to think about making three new friends, it also stresses me out. Making friends is hard enough without self-imposed deadlines in which to do so.

#1 Remember important days

Birthdays definitely fall into this category. But I want to expand it beyond that. I like to remember friends’ wedding anniversaries and their kids’ birthdays. It’s also important to recognize dates that might not be so happy for them—times of the year when they might be struggling. I have two friends who still message me every year on April 20, the day my mom died, to tell me they’re thinking of me and that she is not forgotten. I treasure those messages.

I’m not sure of the best way create this system. I keep track of some things in a paper planner and others digitally. (Not ideal, but it seems to work.) I’d also like to keep some cards on hand to recognize important dates that warrant more than a text message and I need to store those in a way that makes it quick and easy to get them out the door.

#2 Invest in the friendships I have

I am bad about responding to messages sometimes. I’m better than I once was—a change that was spurred by my best friend totally calling me out—but there’s still major room for improvement. It’s weird because at work, I’m really on top of this kind of thing but in my personal life I struggle. That feels counterintuitive to me, but I am who I am.

#3 Nurture those who could use it

I have two close friends who have recently gone through a couple of life changes: moving to a new house and going back to work after having a baby. I’ve texted with both of them and seen them both since it happened, but I think there are better ways I could demonstrate support. These ladies showed up when I had my babies, when we moved to a new house, when my mom died. I want to find a way to let them know that I see the changes they’re managing and that I am ready to support them any way I can.