2019 Happiness Project—February Update

Oof. February. That was a rough one. While I certainly don’t feel like my marriage suffered this month, I definitely didn’t deliver on what I planned to do.

#1 Sit together

This is the one where I did best. T and I have been sitting near each other much more often at night. I can admit that the first few times I moved over to him, it was done begrudgingly. I like my little corner of the couch, what can I say?

It’s paid dividends though. I don’t think we’ve had any instances this month of feeling like roommates. Sitting together also makes us more likely to talk to one another instead of just sitting in silence watching shows.

#2 Give proofs of love

My plan here was to start kissing hello and goodbye every time one of us left. I think I was doing this… maybe…? I don’t honestly remember and I didn’t pay close enough attention.

#3 Plan our remaining date nights

I get an F on this one. We have these planned through May, but that’s it. I have no doubt that they will all get planned in time, but it just didn’t happen this month.

On the surface, this looks like a fail.

But I’m not looking at it that way. This was not a good month for me in terms of my mental health. As I mentioned here, I haven’t felt like myself for a few weeks now. If anything good comes out of these episodes, it’s that I can feel my husband’s love even stronger than usual.

I am not easy to live with during these times. I can be distant, moody and difficult. He is always incredibly patient as I try to find my way back to balanced. I’ve said many times that he is “the calm to my chaos” and that’s never more apparent than when I’m having an episode. These times remind me how fortunate I am to have such a good partner and I do everything I can to make sure he knows I’m grateful for him.

So anyway, it wasn’t a super successful month based on the criteria I set out roughly 30 days ago. But in terms of feeling love in our home, we’re doing ok.