FOMO Everywhere

Last week, I was in training for work on Wednesday and Thursday. I spent all day, both days, surrounded by 100 of my closest colleagues. Although I enjoy their company, I ended up feeling exhausted each evening. I am an introvert and interacting with people all day is tiring. It leaves me with very little energy to give. Both days I came home, gave the rest of my energy to my husband and kiddos, and crashed into bed.

There was no energy for the internet. And I can’t figure out if that’s good or bad.

In my pre-blogging days, I’d have said it was 100% good. Disconnecting is a good thing. I make efforts everyday to separate from technology, especially since my day job is so dependent on it. I’m not perfect, and I definitely let our daughter watch too much TV (though I tell myself it’s ok because it’s often PBS Kids). In general though, I work hard to make sure the kids know what my face looks like without it being blocked by a screen. I don’t want to miss out on life because I’m watching other people live it through my phone.

I started blogging a few months ago and in doing so, have made my screens a bigger priority than I previously allowed. I try to do most of my writing at night after the kids have gone to sleep, but social media adds a huge layer of complexity. There are different channels, different algorithms, different recommended schedules for publishing. There’s likes and retweets and comments and shares. Sometimes it feels like unless I spend an hour or two a day focused only on managing that stuff, there’s no chance of maintaining profiles or relationships that I’m trying to create online.

If blogging was my full-time job, that would be no problem. But I spend 8-10 hours a day at work and when I come home, I want that time with my husband and the kids. In a perfect world, I’d have a few hours each weekend to plan everything out, from blog posts to pins and beyond, for the upcoming week, but so far that hasn’t been possible.

When I spend my time focused on real life, I worry that I’m missing opportunities to build relationships with others online. Infrequent posting hurts where you show up on social media feeds and that bums me out because, if I’m being totally honest, there’s a part of me that really does want this blog to turn into something more than what it is right now. Beyond that, I also just really enjoy scrolling. Many people think it’s a waste of time and it absolutely can be, but I think if you’re following the right people and accounts for you, then social media serves as an enormous dose of inspiration. And I’m a news junkie, so that aspect is fun too!

But then I have to look at the opportunity cost of spending more time online… and things crystallize. Nothing in the world is ever going to be more important to me than my family. I want to spend every possible second I can just watching and playing with and enjoying those kids. I want to have deep conversation and share stupid jokes with my husband. And if being online more means I’m missing out on those things, then I’ll pass.

I keep looking for the perfect balance but it might be time to accept that it doesn’t exist. There will always be more that I want to do, both online and offline. Some weeks I’ll maintain a perfect schedule and some weeks I might only post one new blog and a handful of photos to Instagram. Building a blog is expected to be a slow burn and I am learning to accept this might stay at matchstick level for awhile.

If you’re a blogger or business-owner running a website or social media profiles, I’d love to know how you manage to keep things (somewhat) balanced!