2019 Happiness Project—June Update

This month’s Happiness Project felt a bit livelier than those in the past. I think it’s because I set concrete goals for June. However, I struggled a bit with my own intention this month.

June’s focus was friends. This is an area where I’ve needed to focus for a little while, and I made decent progress over the last few weeks. But I feel guilty and embarrassed that it took publishing a blog post about being a good friend for me to actually do it.

(I know that’s something of an overstatement, but sometimes it feels true.)

Let’s see how June went.

#1 Remember important days

I did this one 100%! I can’t help but be excited. I checked out a handful of apps in hopes that they could help me get organized, only to learn that my phone, the item that is with me more than just about any other, has the power to remind me of things! Who knew?

I set reminders in my phone for my family and friends’ birthdays, anniversaries, dates that might be sad for them, and anything else that seemed worth acknowledging. It’s kind of embarrassing that this approach didn’t occur to me until I was deep in the throes of Google searching, but better late than never I suppose. 

When I was at Target a few weeks ago, I also checked the Dollar Spot for some cards. I found a bunch for birthdays, weddings and baby showers, so I spent about $15 on a few of each. I added those to my existing stash of blank cards and I’m set for awhile.

#2 Invest in the friendships I have

When I included this as an item for June, I did so with one particular friendship in mind… and I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t do it. Have you ever had something on your to-do list for so long that it becomes harder and harder to execute against it? I think that was the problem for me. I messaged this friend months ago, she responded quickly, and then I forgot to reply for like a week. And then I felt bad for not replying and I’ve progressively felt worse and worse about it since then. 

Luckily this friend is better than I am and she messaged me again to setup time to have coffee. I replied quickly this time and will see her later this month.

#3 Nurture those who could use it

I get a 50% here. I focused my attention first on my friend who just went back to work. In one week she was working, her son was sick and her husband was out of town. She was handling everything well, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t need a little extra attention. I stopped over her house to secretly deliver some baked goods, a bottle of rosé and toys for her little guy. (Her husband caught me making the delivery, so it wasn’t super secret, but I got to spend an hour with her so it was a good thing!)

I ordered a gift for my friend who just bought a new house and it is on backorder until the end of July. Annoying. I let that be my permission to put this one on hold, but only for a couple more weeks.

Again with the guilt.

It took me a reeeeeeeally long time to find my friends. Aside from one truly lifelong friend (31 years and counting!), I didn’t really make any friendships that were “made to last” until college. I’ve never had a big group of girlfriends that I hung around with so I really cherish these individual relationships. 

I like to dream up ways that I could demonstrate my gratitude for their friendship. Why did it take writing about it for me to actually make even a tiny effort? 

(To be fair to myself, I’m not a bad friend… I don’t think. I’m just not always as thoughtful as I’d like to be.)

I’m definitely an obliger (more on that here) so I guess putting my plans in print gave me some semblance of external accountability. Maybe I need to start making all of my to-do lists public… perhaps I’d get a little more done 😉